I have absolutely no idea how it's happened, but Linus was 1 last week, so that's the best part of a year of tandem feeding

So here's the question. Since early September I've been trying to wean Nathaniel. He was down to bedtime only feeds and not bothered about it the rest of the day, but that feed was becoming an utter nightmare due to lazy latch, using me as a climbing frame while feeding and stretching my poor nipple somewhere over my shoulder etc etc. I tried repeatedly to give him some manners while feeding; practiced opening wide, unlatching and starting again etc to try and help his latch, putting him down when he became too acrobatic and explaining to him he was hurting me which was all fine while he wasn't feeding. He'd agree to be nice to mummy, open wide etc but as soon as the boob was in his gob it was like he was so one track minded he 'd completely forget all that and revert to normal. So afetr having to put him down and explain all this for literally the tenth time one night I decided enough was enough. We'd hit a bit in DPs shift pattern which meant he'd be around at bedtime to help with distraction for a couple of weeks so I decided to bite the bullet and stop feeding Nathaniel. It was a really difficult decision and it's still not sitting entirely well with me but I was really starting to resent him so I think for our relationship as a whole I had to do something even though my gut has always leant strongly to self weaning.

He accepted the change really well, we altered bedtime routine slightly so the "boob window" disappeared, and after a few days we were on holiday anyway so a whole new routine for everything was a brilliant distraction. However since we got back he's turned into a nightmare. Every time he comes near me he's trying to pull my boob out and latch on, or just stick his hand down my top and twiddle my nipple. It's really hurting me, and I've had several blocked ducts recently which I can almost certainly link to his manhandling. He tends to do this when he knows my "defences" are low - so if I'm feeding Linus is a common time (which I can understand really - it is a blatant reminder right in his face!), or if we're sitting doing something together he'll make a sudden lunge for me.

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to move things forward. My main tactic at the moment is to make sure he's getting plenty of non boob attention and cuddles; and to tell him that really boob is for babies like Linus and he's a big boy now so he can have special big boy cuddles and a drink/some grapes/rich tea biscuit/other junk he probably shouldn't have instead. I don't want to start regularly feeding him again, though I don't really mind the occasional latch on as he'll only stay attached long enough to get a mouthful then let go and then tell me that "Boob for baby Linus, Affannel a big boy now". I know this probaby gives him mixed signals but TBH I don't have the energy or physical ability to continuously distract or fight him off (stupid wrist not working properly right now makes things hard particularly if I have L in my good arm feeding him). I try to make my clothes fairly inaccessible but obviously I can't go uber restrictive as I need access for his highness. I don't think I'd mind so much either if he wasn't so rough but it's that one track mind thing coming into play again, and I'm worried I'll end up with mastitis or something. Maybe it would be easier if I was more at ease with my decision to wean him, I don't know. I do know that now we're on this path I would like to continue down it, I don't want to confuse him and it is hard work feeding two active toddlers and I'm drained right now! (and I'm half hoping stopping feeding him might kick start ovulation again so we can get on with TTC #3 sooner rather than later so it is a bit selfish of me too I think )

Sorry, that got long but does anyone have any ideas of where I can go from here to try and stop him treating me like a lactating stress ball?

Well, I dont really have anything in the way of advice as this is not something within my experience! But well done for achieving a year of tandem feeding!

I can only imagine how hard a decision it must be for you to give up feeding Nathaniel, but from what you have said, it sounds like the right time to me. He is rough, he hurts you and doesnt seem to learn to be more careful (that sounds horrible, I dont mean it the way it sounds but I cant seem to get the right words out!) so I think for your own sake it wouldnt hurt to stop now. Plus as you say, it will allow you to concentrate on TTC (and that's not a selfish wish at all!)

I dont know what to suggest regarding discouraging/distracting him as both my two weaned much earlier (DD at 8 months and DS at 15 months) and they were both the ones that wanted to stop . But I hope that someone with the relevant advice will be along soon!!

In the meantime though, I think you should be very proud of the great start you are providing for your boys!