I don't know about that. I'm not really qualified to comment but from what I see it looks like Alistron and her partner have a really good relationship, and a good family life - so it seems to be working for them.

I think schools are about all those things you mention, but I also think they are about academic learning as well.

I also dispute that their is no community spirit. There is plenty of it where I live, and I see people helping each other, and looking out for each other all the time.

I think one can be competitive and have a sense of social responsibility all at the same time,

LOL!! Yes, I'm responsible for all of societies ills

It's no coincidence that since we've descended into a culture of mediocrity and have embraced the 'everyone's a winner' mentality that all the things you have mentioned above have become more prevalent.

Because everyone has to be good/talented/special the truly great are not properly recognised/celebrated and the people who are lacking in an area are given false expectations.

It's why you get people who clearly can't sing (for example) turning up on x-factor thinking that they've got it. When really someone should have sat 'em down years ago and said 'look, you're shit at this - go and find something else to do'.

Life's a bloody competition - deal with it.

Every uni interview - compettition.
Every job interview - competition.


I'm pleased to say my children are hideously competitive. They come back from skiing tomorrow having moved up two classes in a week! DS1 is only six and skis in a class of 10 year olds. DD1 is nine and skis with the adults. ( Sorry - mega stealth boast there but I am as proud as punch of them !). Mr S instigates a boot camp approach to all sports in our house - they do swimming, Triathlon, skiing, cycling ( all off stabilisers at three).And yes - taking part is important but pushing yourself, winning - that's the best!!


Our school ( not anymore, thank feck) was a drippy dappy " no competitive sports" nonsense. Sports Day was shite. Groups of kids moocing about the field throwing bean bags at a target and " Everyone's a winner". It was tedious to watch and the kids hated it. Competing is human nature.

And Cat - I'm not sure what business you're in but the one Mr S works in as bloody cut throat as you can get - you sink or swim. Seriously ruthless! And I am preparing my kids for life in the real world - I'm sure if they want to sit around weaving lentils and singing kum ba ya they will but it ain't gonna get them very far !!

Did you actually stop to think about all of this before you posted it, or did you just fire it off?

If a child (or an adult) has a low IQ, that will probably show itself at some point without anyone else's help. As far as I can tell, children are required to do sports at school because parents who send their children to school expect the school to keep those children fit and healthy as well as teach them academic stuff. School pupils are expected to do sports because it's part of the curriculum, just as maths, English and science are.

The world is about cut-throat competition, in many ways. There can't be many jobs out there (whether professional or not) where the position holder didn't have to apply, and therefore compete with other candidates to get the position. People in general can be caring and supportive (not all of them are, but most of the ones I've met are), but that doesn't prevent them from being competitive too.

School is not always about nurturing and encouragement. If it were, the system wouldn't be failing so many, the teaching profession would not have been in crisis for years, and home education wouldn't be increasing in popularity. School tends to be about teaching to whatever the latest line of tests are asking, so that the school can get a better place in the league tables.

Working as a team is in many ways a requirement, but in many companies, the company just expects team members to shut up and get on with the job. Employees have to be good at their job, or they're chucked out if they can't get their act together and perform.

Working together does make a strong family, but not if you're faffy about it, and refuse to let your children learn that they can't be good at everything. Confidence tends to come from knowing your strengths and your weaknesses, and the most self-assured people I know are also the ones who don't mind being crap at somethings, because they know there are other things they're bloody good at. In other words, they handle life well.

Even posting on here is a competition. People post stuff, and I come along and post better stuff. I AM THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

You may be MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE, but I am....

SPARTICUS!!

No!

I'm Spartacus!

I am rmembering the days of primary school sports day from my own childhood .It felt like public humiliation to me.
No employer wants someone who can't work as a team ! As an employer myself I know one of the criteria for employing someone is 'will thy fit in ?', can they work with pwople

I seem to remember the teachers and sporty types colluding to put on the best show possible and leaving the sporting grunts (like moi) to our own devices which generally involved an ice-cream partaay and lots of gossiping in the shade.

Nothing not to like

True, we were occasionally forced to do a relay or an egg and spoon as a nod to inclusion but we found that more annoying than humiliatingly scarring, TBH.

WRT the rest of your post: Did you mean 'No employer wants someone who can't work in a team?' because one person can't 'work as a team' but that's an aside.

If you want to use the scenario of employing someone to illustrate your case, you can't isolate one factor as more important than another to suit your argument, IMO. People are a composite package and the skill in deciding whether to take on a particular person surely lies in counter-balancing the desirable and less desirable traits to suit what you as an employer want.

While 'fitting in' and working with people might be one of the criteria for employing someone, possessing the 'winning ethos' in the form of getting the job done on time and to the highest standard possible must also score highly.

Because if that doesn't happen regularly, you (generic) as an employer won't actually have a business for long, will you?

Nascissist??

DD1 definately not- she always does fantastically well (apart from sports which she excells in being below average and is quite happy to be there and usually enjoys PE- huge, huge thanks from me to her school PE dept- they have some kids in county/national squads, and then there is my DD, and they make her feel happy to be in the lessons- how bl**dy amazing is that?). Academically DD1 excells and I think quietly enjoys it, but mostly is on planet T where it makes no real impact! She is always most suprised to get her awards.

However DD1 found the "rewards for everything" very hard to deal with when she was younger- particularly the sickening "he got a sticker and teachers award for not hitting anybody" and, as she so eloquently said at about age 5 "I never hit nobody never, not at all and I didn't get a sticker" (with stomped foot!)

DS probably not a narcissist but hugely competitive re sports in a fanatical boy way ( are all boys so fanatical??). Easily dissappointed if he doesn't hit self set targets though still, and very frustrated by the percieved failings of others eg in sports teams " Iknow he can do it, but I think he wasn't trying" for instance.

DD2 getting to be like DD1 in a way. However DD2 is much more aware of how the "competition" are doing as well- as in "I go more than J but less than E in the maths test" .

Competition is a feature of life, and, even when competitions is apparently hidden kids know- forget reading groups of "elephants leopards and monkeys" or "monday tues friday groups" the kids know who is top ,middle and struggling readers !!

Nah I don't let them win at games either!! Sometimes I suspect they let me win though...